People are always surprised when they find out that I struggle with depression. I don’t walk around telling people that I have depression. I usually wait until someone confides in me that they are struggling, and people confess this to me often. The response is usually one of surprise. “But you don’t seem depressed!”
It is true. I smile a lot. I laugh often. I make many jokes about myself. I am pretty good at it. I put on a face that says she is happy. I don’t lie in bed all day. I take a shower and put on my face.
For the most part I am happy. I have many blessings in my life, and I am aware of them. But that is the trouble with depression, you can know in the depths of your soul that you are completely blessed and still be depressed.
I am fully convinced that to understand depression you have to have experienced it yourself. The ones who say that it is all in your head or you can’t be a Christian and be depressed have never experienced depression.
Depression doesn’t make sense. It has no order. It grabs you in your mind and doesn’t let go. It is a pit of darkness that has no ladder even though your mind is looking for one.
Even though we have made many strides in of mental health, I believe that there is still a stigma on depression. If there wasn’t, I would be more comfortable sharing my struggles. How many people around you right now are struggling? Would you judge them if you knew? Would you tell them to buck up because there are people out there that have it worse than them?
And that is the thing. They know that people out there have it worse than them. They know that they should be happy. That there are good things in their lives. It doesn’t matter. They can know it all they want, but it doesn’t change how they feel.
Mental health is in the news again with the horrific airplane crash in Europe. Suicide is horrible. Suicide and murder is unthinkable. Would this man have been able to get help and keep his job? I am absolutely not advocating for pilots with clinical depression to be in the air, but we have to figure out some kind of safety net for people with depression. It is the same with service members. The statistic is 22 service members commit suicide every day despite the military trying to make it easier for them to seek help. I think about myself. I do not share that I have depression, and I don’t even work outside the home. We want people to think we have it all together. We don’t want people to know that we are broken inside.
I think my depression plays a large role in my feelings on the use of liturgy and hymns in the church. A lot of times praise songs have an emphasis on happiness. What if I am not happy? What if I can’t just raise my hands? I think this should be a post of its own, so I will leave it there.
I have never been so low that the darkest voice has ever called to me, but I know from my reading that there is a voice. I want to leave you with a link to a blog that discusses depression from a Christian perspective. He has written a book that he has made available for free. If you have ever suffered from depression or know someone who has, I highly recommend his book.
Tressays 
Excellent post. Thank you for sharing this.