So, Melanie posts at her blog that she is going to do this running program. I think, “Oh. Cool!” I want to do that too.  My hubby has been bugging me to exercise a little more frequently. I mean to start exercising. I think that I should start today. I don’t have anything going on today.  What is 30 minutes out of my morning? I can exercise while I am waiting for the Drano to work.

I head out to the treadmill with my most recent piece of chick lit. We all know that you can’t exercise and read anything of substance at the same time. I start my walk at a relaxed pace. This isn’t so bad. Rather boring, but not bad. I want a cookie. I haven’t made cookies in awhile. Maybe some Oatmeal Scotchies or something. Those sound good. Exercising here. Focus. Never mind, this is really boring. I think that I will go ahead and jog for 60 seconds. I turn up the treadmill.  Ok. Yeah. What is that dead weight that I am carrying around? Oh, it is my backside. Oh. My. Gosh. Why won’t it stay still? This stinks. How can people do this for fun? Heaven help me. It has only been 30 seconds? I am going to get to 60 seconds. I am not THAT out of shape. Think of how appreciative my heart is. It must be really happy right now. Yikes, I have got to slow this freaking thing down before I fall off of it.

Ok, that wasn’t so bad. I am still breathing. I am sweating a little. Wow. Haven’t done that since last summer. Ok. That is good. I think I am just going to walk the rest of the time. Yeah. Walking is good.

15 minutes? I have only been out here for 15 minutes? You are kidding me? Ok. I can jog one more time. I just won’t turn the speed up so high. Starting slow is the key. I don’t want to hurt myself. Ok, this is better. Not so fast. Ok, 20 seconds gone. Breathe, Tressa. Deep breaths. What is that smell? Is that the lawnmower? That things hasn’t run since October. Why can I still smell it? Never mind. Think of the oxygen flowing through my blood. All those little oxygen molecules attaching themselves to my red blood cells delivering sweet oxygen to places in my body that need it.  Never mind. They can suffocate. I have got to walk.

Ok. Walking is good. Walking is really good. The experts say that just walking is fine. Walking for 30 minutes. I think that my treadmill is slow at keeping time. It has to have been longer than 30 minutes. It is lying. Now, look at that. I have a spider to keep me company. Somebody needs to clean this windowsill and it isn’t going to be me because I am never coming out here again. Has it been 30 minutes? 31 minutes. Yee ha! I am done.

According to the treadmill I walked/jogged 1.5 miles and burned 108 calories. All of which will be negated after I make those cookies and eat a couple of spoonfuls of cookie dough. See? Why do I bother? Time to make cookies.